Becoming a Mum – How Working Life Changed

  • Post category:Career

Becoming a mum was shock to the system. but not in the way you think!

I really struggled when I first became a mum.  Yes, the endless crying, the long nights and the fact that I was completely out of my comfort zone was a struggle, but the biggest struggle was that I felt like that was my only purpose.  I had lost “me” and a big part of “me” was working.   I worked almost every day since I was a young teenager.  I worked with my mum in the school holidays, I started working at the local pub as a young teen and continued for nearly ten years. I worked all through University, and even kept working weekends in the pub after I landed my first “proper” job.  My life had always revolved around work and I was happy with that.  

When I had Joseph, this all came to a rather abrupt stop! Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely no regrets about having Joseph, but it hit me HARD! I felt like I wasn’t doing anything productive and, in a way, I felt very lost.  It wasn’t long before I was itching to use my brain.

I searched online for any courses that I could do, and something that took my fancy was accounting.   I ran a limited company for both myself and my partner, Justin at the time and although we had a fantastic accountant I wanted to understand exactly what she did.  So, I bought a course and taught myself accountancy.  It was great, I was finally feeling that I was doing something.  

Although my mind was busy, I was hit by guilt.  Guilt that Justin was out working hard all day to “bring home the bacon” as they say.   I wanted, I needed to contribute something to the house.  I came across online platforms that allowed me to bid for online work. I signed up hoping that I could put my skills to use.  I found work! Work that I could do around bringing up Joseph.  I could complete it at nap times and in the evenings.   Not only was I now bringing in some money, I felt like I was a “person” again and not just a mum.  I felt content again.

Since then, I have done lots of different types of work for many different companies, anything from creating databases to manging small projects.  I even ended up working on site for a company a couple of days a week for a while whilst Joseph was in nursery.

I always knew I would never be a stay at home mum.  I admire anybody that is, I really do.  But sometimes you have to admit to yourself if something isn’t right.  I was miserable not working and I tried to do as much as I could with Joseph, but long nap times where I would sit and watch the TV felt like a waste to me.  The more it went on, the more miserable I became, and it was starting to impact my family.   I have a great work-life balance now, I mainly work from home and around Joseph so I get the best of both worlds!

I guess one thing that I have learned is that you have to be yourself.  If you find yourself in a situation where you just don’t feel yourself anymore, you need to find a way to change it.  Life is never going to be perfect, but we have to make the most of what we have.